Creepy Chips

I generally avoid purchasing, or even consuming when free, Utz ® brand chips. Maybe it’s that the brand name doesn’t remotely resemble anything edible. Or it could just be that the little girl mascot they have contrived freaks me the hell out. Her rosy cheeks would look garish even on a clown. Her head is a perfect circle, with the face painted on to the front as if it were a round wooden ball pretending to be a head. But for some reason they took the time to draw the body as a real cartoon should be drawn. With an arm correctly proportional to the body reaching into a paper bag that I’m only assuming contains potato chips. The head though, that demonic head is just so out of place that my eyes want to slide past it pretending it doesn’t exist. To prove I wasn’t just being irrational I purchased a bag of their Bar-B-Que flavored Corn Chips today. It’s not as brave an act as it sounds. The crazy mascot only appears in the small logo on the back of the bag. The quality is of a slightly lower grade than similar offerings from Frito-Lay ®, but it serves the purpose of pumping fat and salt directly into my arteries. I faced my fear, looked the devil square in the eye, and stared him down.