We're buying a house

In case I haven't told you yet. We recently put a contract on a house. This is what we're buying. You can follow this link to see some additional pictures of the house. Don't worry, all the kiddy stuff is going. There's more to the house, I'm just not showing it all yet.

Woot

I suppose I can jump on the band wagon.

I Hate Stupid People

There are a lot of stupid, stupid people out there. After Kelly and I got engaged at Maymont Park in Richmond, we decided to celebrate by going to look at the bears. It was a great day. Well IQs must have dropped drastically over this last weekend. Apparently ignoring the posted signs, a 4 year old child was helped over the fence by his parent to go look at the bears and was consequently bitten after sticking his hand through the second chain link fence. He was taken to the hospital and the health department was contacted. Because there was a slight chance that the bear might have been infected with rabies, and because the parent couldn’t remember which bear did it, and because they didn’t want to just give the stupid child a rabies shot(!!!!) the authorities KILLED BOTH THE BEARS.

I don’t give a great GODAMN if the rabies shots hurt. Let the idiot parent that hoisted the kid over the fence deal with a crying child for a while. Those bears meant a lot to the people of this community and my family in particular. There is no reason they needed to be put down. I’m especially frustrated with the city officials that decided it was better to kill both the bears than give the kid a lousy shot in the arm. Everyone should contact the Times Dispatch or any of the other 3 news sites I linked to above, and let them know how pissed off you are about this!

The Wawa Saga

First off, you know somebody needs to get a job when they’re at Wawa at 12 noon buying two 40s and a 12-pack. No food, just 40s.

I'm not talking about me damnit.

Secondly, I don’t think basic common sense is a requirement of being employed by Wawa. Case in point, how many people think it’s a good idea to make a toasted sandwich by first building the entire sandwich and THEN toasting it. Toasted lettuce… mmmmmmmm! Fuckers.

Power On

Haven’t I been preaching a return to nuclear power for a while now?? Well it looks like we’ll be ordering up some new nuclear plants as early as next year. Hooray for clean and efficient energy production! Woot!

Power Button

I just read all 252 episodes of Applegeeks after discovering it today at work. It's is a surprisingly high quality comic. The artwork is some of the best I've seen online and the story gets to be really engaging. Shit's right up there with comics you'd find in print. Like Batman and stuff.

OMFG

For the fifth time in 2 and a half years, we have been approached by someone trying to get us into a pyramid scheme. This has never happened anywhere else I have ever been. I think it's very telling of Richmond that it is filled with complete, brain-dead idiots. Seriously, how can so many people be falling for this obvious scam?? I'll revise this post tomorrow perhaps and fill you in on the entertaining details.

Bovine Copulation

For those of you who have watched Clerks, and I know you are many, you may recall a line by Jay that told of the wisdom dispensed by his incontinent grandmother. "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?"

Being generally disinterested in bestiality, I am more often exposed to the phrase in this manner. "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" This is the one liner more commonly peddled about by concerned parents and the religious-right at large. It makes economic sense I suppose. If I'm able to get free internet through my neighbor's unsecured wireless network, I'm sure not going to shell out 50 bucks a month for my own broadband access. However, if I were to purchase my own cable-modem, and found out that said cable-modem was a cold heartless ice-queen in bed, I could cancel my internet access and get DSL. Without the requirement of paying the cable company $1000/month for alimony. Buying a cow is a much larger commitment than buying internet access. That's certainly asking an awfully large leap of faith from someone who just wants a tall glass of milk.

Here's another way to look at it, one that I find to be eminently more practical, and just as economically sound. Perhaps if more people stopped to seriously think about this, there would be fewer divorces and more happy marriages. You can all thank Kelly for coining this little gem. "Why buy the cow, if you haven't tasted the milk?"

Why indeed?

Futureland

Are you familiar with all those sci-fi movies that show a person poking around at a table-top that is projecting all different kinds of information in a continuously changing environment?  I’m thinking of a scene from The Island.  Grabbing windows, and scaling images all by sliding a few fingertips across the screen.  Picking a window out of a group and then tossing it aside as if it was a real object.  Touchscreens have been around for a while, but they’ve always been very imprecise and limited in use.  Think that stupid ATM that’s always picking the wrong selection when you’re trying to get some money for lunch.  This Dual-Hand Touchscreen is only in the research stage right now, but if they develop it just a little further it will revolutionize how we interact with computers.  That’s a hell of a demonstration video.  I’ve got mine on pre-order.

What also floats in water?

I would like to read you an excerpt from The Daily Show presents America (the calendar) 2006.

Campaigns & Elections: The 5 Greatest Moments in Negative Advertising

4. Goody Proctor Is a Witch! (1692)

The Salem Witch Trials of 1692 marked the birth of negative advertising in America. Pamphlets outlining allegations of witch-craft, citing specific details of its practice, gave accusations a gravitas that standing in the town square pointing at passers-by and screaming hysterically “WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” simply couldn’t provide.

Tastes like chicken

A friend of ours once said that all us white people looked the same to him and he had a hard time telling us apart. He’s a Kenyan in case you wondered. Didn’t matter what country we were from, all white folks looked alike to him. Kinda like most unidentified cooked meats taste like chicken. There’s the title tie-in.

First I would like to point out that I have several friends of Asian descent. Where did they come from? Somewhere in Asia is about as close as my guess will ever get. Now go check out this website. Let’s see if you can do any better.

I scored a 3.

Inversely Amazing

Not easy to get all that wrong

Avast!

This is a load of crap. Pirates are way cooler than ninjas.

Flying under the radar

I know my dream car changes daily, but I think today I’m really feeling the used Benz market. There’s no arguing with 349 horsepower and 391 pound-feet of pavement shredding torque in a plain silver sedan. I can dig it.