White December

Yesterday marked the first snowfall of the year in Richmond. I may have remarked on this phenomenon before. I know others have covered it to death, oh well. Here's one more lighter raised at a Scorpions concert.

Southerners don't know what snow is. They really have no clue. They live in a perpetual tropical state that has only an occasional brush with the freezing point of water. Don't get me wrong. They know bad weather. Richmond practically floated down the river and out to sea last year. Then there was that hurricane that hit the year before. And the southerners handled themselves admirably in those situations. But I think when the temperature drops and somebody whispers the word "snow," they just lose it. I think the best way of explaining this phenomenon I've ever seen can be found here. A comic for every occasion is what I say.

It's true though. The road doesn't even have to have any snow on it. If the weather guy, that damn short sighted weather guy, even mentions snow the local counties all cancel schools as a kind of pre-emptive wuss-out. Then it starts to rain. No snow yet, it's still 40 degrees out. But there's precipitation falling out of the sky. Suddenly everyone is going 10mph under the speed limit. If it was raining during a goddamn hurricane they would still be doing 80. But since there might be some snow at 3am that morning, everyone is going 45 on the highway.

In BOTH lanes.

I have to live with this kind of idiocy, but I don't have to like it. After the storm was over, I awoke this morning to find Mayland Drive slushy and mostly frozen. Far from being intimidated by this and driving like a 93 year old man, I gassed it in first, hung the back end out sideways, gave it a little opposite lock, and took off down the deserted 4 lane highway that makes up my street in a glorious 4 wheel drift. Now that's driving according to the conditions bi-atch.