the surly duck

2007 NASA-X Championship #1

2007-01-17T20:44:00.000-05:00

Well here are the official times. I got flat-out romped on. Seriously, I placed 50 out of 76 entrants and I was 9th out of 10 in NASA-X D. I was destroyed outright by 2/3rds of the people that showed up. What can I say? The course was super challenging this time. I had a lot of grip from my tires in the high speed transitions, but I was plagued by excessive body roll in the decreasing radius turns and through the slalom. I've seen video where my inside rear tire is literally off the ground as I'm going through the turn. That's bad body roll. Don't start me on trying to lug out of the chicago box off boost, it's painful. To make matters worse, my tires were overheating after the 4th run and went from super sticky near-race rubber, to something with about as much grip as melting butter. My car's just plain not competitive in its current state of tune. At least not against the group that decided to show up last sunday. And I have a feeling I'll be seeing a lot more of them in the coming year. Those are enough excuses for now.

NASA HolidayCross Official Times

2006-12-05T08:53:00.000-05:00

Official times for last Sunday’s autocross at VMP have been posted here. http://www.get-fast.net/nasacross/

I’m extremely pumped about where I placed. 36^th out of a field of 74 cars! And if I’m reading the chart correctly I was the fasted novice out there!

HolidayCross!

2006-12-04T21:57:00.000-05:00

Here's my records from the latest round of auto-abuse! Writeup to follow.

Just a bit late

2006-12-04T19:53:00.000-05:00

Okay, so this autocross was way back on October 29th. It was at the Diamond again. SUPER tight course this time. I took a stab at running in second gear for the first two runs. But as you can see from run number 3, leaving it in first and bouncing off the rev limiter 2 or 3 times was definitely the fast way around the course in my car. Don't worry, she likes it.

I signed up for double fun runs on this day. That's when I race 2 heats instead of one. On the left you can see my first heat. I actually had 10 runs, not 7, but the wind was blowing debris across the timing sensors and screwed up runs 4, 5 and 6. As you can see from the 2 columns on the right, I did have my fastest runs of the day in my final heat. Makes sense since I had a lot of time to get used to the course at that point.

This was the last time I would run on my old, warn out (cords exposed) BFGs and equally warn out brake pads. Overall I was very happy with my times. They were all really consistent and that's always good to see.

Speed Racer

2006-10-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

I finally got to drop the hammer in full on automotive competition. Okay, well maybe not full competition since it was just a test & tune day. But damnit it I didn't dump my clutch at 6,000 rpm and race through a field of cones! I'll post more later. For now here's my times.

Stone Vertical Epic '06

2006-09-28T18:42:00.000-05:00

It's another beer review!!! Sorry Davis, I know you'll be here in 27 hours but I couldn't wait any longer to crack this one open. Glassware is a heavy glass beer mug. Serving is a little on the cold side, but I've been letting it sit out for a while so it's warming up nicely. It's a very dark beer, but not thick. Tastes very much like a dark Belgian ale. Now that I read the back label they actually used Belgian yeast so I guess that explains it. Malty, but easily drinkable. I like this beer a lot. Also according to the label it was designed to be aged until 2012. In a way I wish I could have hung onto it that long. Maybe I can scrounge another one up somewhere... Well that's enough of a review, I'm going to go back to drinking my beer and watching the Venture Brothers. But that's a review for another day.

Swing Low

2006-09-26T12:14:00.000-05:00

Pony Cars

2006-09-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

For some reason I keep pulling for Ford. It’s like rooting for the home team even though the Isotopes haven’t won a game in years. They keep dropping the ball on so many great automotive opportunities. But every so often something clicks and they put out a great car. Monkeys typing Shakespeare? Perhaps.

The latest mustang (solid rear axle and all) has interested me since the day it was launched. When Ford went racing with the FR500C and showed the mustang could run with the very best I was impressed. The car has always had great looks and great potential, but as it rolls out of the factory it struck me as a bit too soft, a little too friendly to the least common denominator. The drivetrain is great and responds to mods well, but the suspension was tuned by lawyers, not enthusiasts. Understeer and body-roll, woo hoo.

It seems like the monkeys have listened and now I’m more interested that ever. Have you heard they’ll be offering up a version of the Shelby GT-H for public consumption in 2007 badged as the Shelby GT? Same ford racing power and handling packs turning it basically into a club-racer, but with a Hurst short-throw 5-speed and a lower final drive ratio. And it looks absolutely wicked in black. If they can keep it priced right around $30,000 (and keep the dealers from price gouging the shit out of it, $20,000 markup on a GT500 anyone?) I would seriously consider trading in my WRX and going old-school muscle.

And did I mention it’s only a supercharger away from 462 horsepower?

I’d hold out for the Boss 302 but something tells me that it’s going to be priced between $35,000 and $40,000. For that much I’d be too scared to damage the vehicle to really drive it the way I want.

non-Nonpoint

2006-09-12T17:45:00.000-05:00

I may have forgotten to mention that the Nonpoint show I was going to see last friday got canceled because the lead singer came down with strep throat. I may also have forgotten to mention that I was even going to a Nonpoint concert. Well anyway, Bert can attest that it would have been a kickass show. He saw the same lineup at Ushies. This is the second time I've missed Nonpoint when they came through Richmond. Boo.

Yuppies in the Hizouse

2006-09-12T17:30:00.000-05:00

State of the Union

2006-09-11T12:33:00.000-05:00

You know, I like Lou Dobbs. I’m going to have to watch him more often.

Paris in the Summertime

2006-09-08T13:41:00.000-05:00

“Bad times for Paris Hilton. Her debut album, "Paris," sold a lackluster 75,000 copies in its first week of release, and now the celebutante has been arrested on suspicion of drunken driving.”

75,000 people actually bought her album? I found it interesting that upon reading the above paragraph that’s the part that surprised me.

Guitar Hero

2006-09-07T19:09:00.000-05:00

This is truly phenominal.

Snap!

2006-08-22T12:22:00.000-05:00

The Season of Giving

2006-08-22T10:05:00.000-05:00

I heard this morning that Warren Buffett is making another donation to charity. You probably remember him from the headlines not too long ago when he gave 37 BILLION DOLLARS to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, a rather heady sum. Well he’s out to donate more, but since he already gave away all his money he’s now going to auction off his mint condition 2001 Lincoln Town Car! The opening bid is set at $25,000. Or roughly twice the blue book value for the car <snicker>. He’ll probably get it, the guy once auctioned off a wallet for over $200K and this is for a good charity. But common, a Lincoln Town Car? What was he doing with that piece of shit in the first place? It’s basically a gussied up Ford Crown Vic, and the only people buying those are police officers and people so old they probably shouldn’t be driving in the first place. Ford is doing the right thing and finally euthanizing that dilapidated chassis in 2010 (not soon enough). You’d think Warren could have found something a little nicer to auction off that that.

I'll play your game you Rogue!

2006-08-21T20:49:00.000-05:00

Another thanks go out to Chris for this one.

Complaining about Webcomics

2006-08-21T19:57:00.000-05:00

Adam Byrne really does draw the slowest webcomic in existance. It's been 8 months since the last installment. If it didn't show so much promise (and the main character didn't remind me of Jerome [I've no idea why]) I'd just clear it off my links column and be done with it. I think he should hurry up because even VG Cats has a new comic at least every 2 weeks. You heard me Scott, updated Mondays my ass.

Dux0r is teh H4x0r

2006-08-21T19:28:00.000-05:00

I only wish I was this geeky. Thanks Chris.

Diabolique

2006-08-21T18:53:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I've done a beer review. Mostly because I've stocked my beer fridge with mainly Magic Hat and Sierra Nevada 12-packs. No longer living on the same side of town as Wine & Beer has limited my selection to only that found at Kroger (it's kinda like Shaws). They have a decent selection for a grocery store (they stock Arrogant Bastard) but I'm still pretty sure most of you have had everything they stock. Well tonight I am drinking one of the more robust offerings. A 750 of Cuvee Diabolique, imported from Belgium. For some reason it was routed through Seattle. I would have thought they could have saved on shipping costs by importing it through New York. Anyway, on to the review. Please keep in mind that I only have 2 swallows of the bottle left so I may not give the most accurate account of the beer. The smell is typical Belgian Ale, similar to Duvel. The final pour is a cloudy yellow. Very flavorful, but again typical Belgian. 8.5% alcohol so at this time, typing requires concentration. And I still get some words wrong. That's really all the analysis I can manage at the moment. There is really nothing unusual about this beer. But since Belgian Ales are really my favorite style I rate it highly and much prefer it to many of the beers that currently inhabit my beer fridge. Yes I said it again, I have a beer fridge. It's an entire fridge dedicated to nothing but beer (the freezer is stocked with meat).

Edit: I forgot to mention, this beverage was drunk from one of my Delirium Tremens tulip glasses. Pink elephants and all!

It's a bird, it's a plane!

2006-08-18T14:10:00.000-05:00

If you’re a would-be kidnapper in the Philippines you’ve got more than just the police (and the military) after you. Watch out evil-doers it’s…. Stifler’s Mom?

(Thanks for the link Chris!)

Where do the internets come from?

2006-08-05T09:55:00.000-05:00

So Mister Poops has lost his internet according to Jerome. And will not be joining us to play Halo for a while. I don't know why he's having trouble finding it, it comes out of that little hole in the wall doesn't it? Isn't that where it's connected to a series of tubes?

Suburban Thug

2006-08-05T09:50:00.000-05:00

I felt the need to link to a truly fantastic Penny-Arcade comic. You all know this guy. You may know him by different names, but you've all met him. (Anyone remember Thad from Saco? I don't remember his last name and I'm not digging out my damn yearbook to find it.) "I'm Malibu's most wanted, Bitch!"

Still playing Halo

2006-08-05T09:22:00.000-05:00

I'm still waiting for Bert and Homer to pony up a little cash for Xbox Live. In the mean time Puffy and I have been doing our damn best to represent Orono online when Jerome and his crew aren't available to round out our team. I would just like to point out my absolutely stonking performance here, here and here. Where even if we lost I still racked up a monster score. Sorry to brag, I just can't help myself today. But yeah, the name of the game seems to be having a full team of at least four that you can depend on. I don't know how many times Puffy and I were left high and dry when our teammates just quit, or decided that running out into the middle of the field was a better idea than defending the GODDAMN FLAG. But I digress. I miss the days when we could gather a group large enough to populate a BTB all on our own. Today it's tough to get more than 2 people at a time together. It's still a fun game, where has all the interest gone?

Demon Duck of Doom

2006-07-12T11:55:00.000-05:00

This really isn’t what you think, and only mildly interesting. But I like the name.

Long time, no post

2006-07-08T07:42:00.000-05:00

So it's been about a month since I last posted on here. And I suppose my last few posts have sorta been copouts so maybe those don't even count. The last post that had anything to do with my was in April! Let's have a major personal life recap here. The motorcycle is gone, sorta. I tried to move it down to the new house after we moved in, but when I went to load it into my buddy's truck I found 2 things. One, there was an ant colony living somewhere in the bike. I don't know how, or why, but there was a large column of ants traveling up and down the rear of the bike and moving up into the engine. The second thing I found was that the brakes/bearings/SOMETHING had locked up and we were now unable to push the bike up into the back of the truck. I left it there. I don't think I'm going back for it. It hasn't been driven in over 5 years and I've never registered it. As far as anyone is concerned, I don't own a motorcycle. I do however own a refurbished motorcycle gas tank with all the appropriate attachments. $150 if anyone wants to buy it.

Different topic, the weekend before we moved I got really sick. So sick in fact that I had to miss fencing because I didn't want to infect anyone. Then the next weekend we moved into the house and I didn't have time to go to fencing. Adding to that, the new house is on completely the other side of the city from the fencing club and would cost me $2.50 in tolls round trip. I hate tolls. So I've effectively dropped out of fencing for the time being. I'd like to go back, but for now the house has me occupied. I've also had to take a brief hiatus from my weekly mountainbiking. Again, just been too busy with house stuff.

I've finally installed cable in the media room. I'm pretty proud of the install. It's all professional and shit. My next major home upgrade will be taking the condensate pipe from the central-air system underground through the backyard and out to a drainage ditch in the woods. I'm thinking I'll give that a shot today because right now it's just dripping onto the lawn and killing the grass. The joy of home ownership.

The President: King of Democracy

2006-06-07T07:43:00.000-05:00

Another excerpt from America: The Calendar.

“Thomas Jefferson had great success marketing tobacco. He is widely credited with inventing the cigarette slogans “All the cool kids are doing it!” and “You need something to do after fucking a slave.”

Full Length Cartoons!

2006-05-23T08:52:00.000-05:00

Here’s an interesting post I found on Digg. If you grew up the same time I did you’re really going to enjoy these. No shit, they have Sam & Max…

Index of 500 Full Length Cartoons on YouTube

There’s no garbage clips to weed through, just 500 full length cartoons organized alphabetically: Futurama, JLU, Thundercats, The Snorks, Super Mario, Transformers, X-Men, and more.

Mountain Dew, drink of choice for Meth Addicts

2006-05-11T13:19:00.000-05:00

According to many sources, Newsweek included, Mountain Dew is considered beverage numero uno by methamphetamine addicts.

“when we went into a meth house, there were four things we could always expect to find: bottles and bottles of Mountain Dew (a drink that, because of its high sugar content, is craved by meth addicts); pornography; "The Poor Man's James Bond" Vol. One and Two (books that detail how to make your own bombs and booby traps); and at least a dozen guns.”

Border Security

2006-05-11T12:14:00.000-05:00

In this article, Lou Dobbs asks if the president thinks we’re all fools. I think it’s plainly obvious he does. In fact, given the statistics regarding prosecution of companies employing illegal immigrants, I’d say all of Capitol Hill thinks we’re idiots. We don’t need a wall so much as we need more than 100 guys enforcing our immigration laws.

Leaning Over

2006-04-26T12:37:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have been asking me how my progress on the motorcycle is going. The restoration of the 21 year old Suzuki is on hold until we move into the house and I have a garage to work in. And I don't have a free weekend to take the local Learn To Ride class until later in the summer. But I have been practicing on my own as you can see below. Once that bike is finished I'll be ready!

Bad Professor, No Biscuit

2006-04-20T09:05:00.000-05:00

People certainly can be overly sensitive at times can’t they?

Rock out with my Bass out

2006-04-14T14:21:00.000-05:00

I finally bought a new bass rig. Check out this shizzle.
Ampeg SVT-350 (solid state) sitting on a ported cab housing a Peavey 15" Black Widow speaker. Now I just need to remember how to play.

Party Political

2006-04-12T15:39:00.000-05:00

You may have noticed that I pulled my last post. Lately I have turned to digg.com as a way to get mostly tech based news with a few interesting side articles from time to time. Articles are submitted by regular people though, so it is fallible. The article that inspired my now deleted post slipped in there mainly because it made bold accusations that were intended to incense the reader. So much so that the poster ignored that digg is for TECH news, and posted a political piece anyway. It sure got me riled up. It also scored about 1500 diggs in the space of time it usually takes an article to score about 100, so at least I wasn't the only one. The link was later pulled because it came to light that the article contained items that were just not true. I'm a little embarassed that I spread that article around as much as I did. But hey, at least I didn't fall for the one about the Golden Retriever puppies in California.

A lot of my posts have been political lately. With the addition of that last post they have taken a decidedly leftward lean. I've always felt more closely connected with the liberal viewpoint. Not on everything mind you. I'm a big believer in gun control being a steady hand. And I really do believe we should build some kind of barrier between ourselves and Mexico. What does it really say about a nation if we can't even secure our own borders?

But 9 times out of 10, I don't agree with our President (I did side with him on the Dubai Ports thing). And I don't believe anyone's moral or religious beliefs should regulate what is taught in schools, or which medicines are researched. Religion should be taught in church, and morality should be taught at home. The rest of the chips can fall where they may.

I jinxed it

2006-04-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

Mother. Fucker.

All hail the Chief

2006-04-05T10:21:00.000-05:00

Way to help out the little guys Bush. I’m sure giving massive tax breaks to the top 2% of tax payers is really going to help us pay down this BALLOONING national deficit of ours. Enough with the fucking tax cuts already! The majority of Americans aren’t seeing a dime of this money and frankly this country can’t afford to be giving handouts to the ultra-rich. We already owe our two firstborn children to the Chinese, and Japan absolutely has our balls in a vice.

“Since 2000, the national debt has risen by an astonishing 48 percent, while the amount of U.S. public debt held by foreigners has climbed by an even more astonishing 100 percent. The amount of U.S. debt that is held by China alone has gone from $60 billion to over $262 billion. American debt held by Japan has grown from $317 billion in 2000 to over $668 billion today.”

It might surprise you to learn that many foreign countries no longer need to have the US indebted to them. I’m sure that fact would surprise our President. What do you suppose will happen when all our creditors decide they want us to pay up?

Dual Booting a Mac

2006-04-05T09:47:00.000-05:00

Ever since Apple switched from the Power PC processor to an Intel chip, running windows on your Mac has been some kind of forbidden fruit. It boots easily now, but it always seemed like you were breaking some kind of law (I’m looking at you Campah). The first person to boot XP onto the new Mac actually won some kind of hacker contest. Well Apple has deemed the forbidden acceptable. Nay, they have endorsed it! From the very hands of Steve Jobs comes the slickest way to run Windows on a Mac ever. And it runs completely natively.

HAHAHAHA, Arkansas...

2006-03-24T13:34:00.000-05:00

It’s really tough to take a state seriously when you’re constantly bombarded with information like this.

Spring Brew

2006-03-23T18:03:00.000-05:00

I was out of beer last week so among other things at the beer store I picked up a six-pack of Dominion Spring Brew. It didn't look like anything fancy, thought it might be a good beer to have after work once in a while. What do I find after closer inspection? It's damn Imperial Pilsner and hits your liver with 7.5% ABV! No wonder I've been having trouble studying after downing one of these...

Chuck Norris

2006-03-21T15:50:00.000-05:00

If you put a picture of Chuck Norris on a record and play it backwards, you'll hear the Rescue Rangers theme song followed by a raspy voice that says, "7 days." Seven days later, Chuck Norris will explode into your home and raid your refrigerator.

No country boy

2006-03-10T21:37:00.000-05:00

I've come to a realization. I don't hate country music, I hate the southern twang.

Case in point, Johnny Cash and Kenny Rogers. Both accomplished country musicians and I enjoy both of them. You know why? They both sound like they graduated from high school. I don't know if they did or not, but at least they sound like they did.

Dubai Ports

2006-03-10T19:15:00.000-05:00

You know, it's not often that I agree with President Bush. Honestly I think his 37% approval rating is entirely justified. But I'm throwing my support behind him on this whole Dubai Ports fallout. I can understand people taking pause at the whole deal, and I can understand folks needing reassurance that there will not be a security threat by allowing an Arab nation to manage 6 of our largest commercial ports. But when that reassurance is given, we should accept that. When it's all boiled down it's just another foreign company. Why should it be alright for an English company to control these ports, but not an Arab one? The UAE has been our supporter an ally through this whole "revenge on the terrorists" thing. Our warships dock at their ports, and refuel with their supplies. Why wouldn't we do the same here? It sends a bad message to the world that the only legitimate reason our nation shot down this deal is because the company is question is run by the United Arab Emirates. It sure says a lot about a nation when they will back a president through every blunder in the book, but they shoot him down when he finally tries to view the world through open eyes.

Good day for a beer

2006-03-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

Today was a fairly laid back friday. A long lunch at Carytown Burgers. A warm sunny day (I think it hit 80). And now the week is over. This may be the perfect day to crack open that 120 Minute IPA. Thanks again Ed.

The windows are thrown open, the sun is going down, it's time to play some Halo.

Geekwear

2006-03-08T11:10:00.000-05:00

If only this were for sale. Common IBM, finish this up so I can buy one!

OLED Linux Watch

Health Concerns

2006-03-06T11:28:00.000-05:00

I’m falling apart I think. I’ve got a cracked tooth that I’ve been ignoring for a while now, but it’s starting to become a bother so I’m gonna get it looked at. Plus my back has been sore lately. I thought that was from sleeping with too many pillows on the bed. But now I’m starting to think that it’s from sitting on the hassock playing xbox for too long. Anyone know of a gaming chair that offers good back support??

Lastly there’s been this cold I’ve been nursing since last Thursday. Some people fight colds with chicken soup, others use Nyquil. I’m old-fashioned; I like to fight my colds with snake-oil and a shot of whiskey.

Soybean Sports Car

2006-03-01T08:41:00.000-05:00

A sports car that can run 0 to 60 in 4 seconds, but still gets 50 miles to the gallon on soybean bio-diesel, that’s a breakthrough in automobiles. Where do I sign up?? And it was built not by a car company but by 5 high school kids! I sure wish I could have read something about the freaking car, and not just how the kids that built it were drop outs and gang members! They didn’t have a single sentence in that article related to the car that wasn’t already said in the damn title. They didn’t even include a full picture of the car, just part of the hood and windshield. I can’t even figure if it was based on an existing car or built on a tube-frame chassis from that article. Stupid “human interest” stories…

Edit: Looks like I spoke too soon! Trust a local newspaper to get down to the technical aspects of a story when the national news outlets feed you a bunch of bleeding-heart crap. The car was based on a heavily modified Attack K-1 kit that incorporated a 200hp electric motor out front and a 150hp Volkswagen diesel engine in the back. Off the shelf parts all, but still pretty trick.

And don't forget to check out this slick flash presentation of the car.

We're buying a house

2006-02-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

In case I haven't told you yet. We recently put a contract on a house. This is what we're buying. You can follow this link to see some additional pictures of the house. Don't worry, all the kiddy stuff is going. There's more to the house, I'm just not showing it all yet.

Woot

2006-02-28T18:45:00.000-05:00

I suppose I can jump on the band wagon.

I Hate Stupid People

2006-02-24T08:50:00.000-05:00

There are a lot of stupid, stupid people out there. After Kelly and I got engaged at Maymont Park in Richmond, we decided to celebrate by going to look at the bears. It was a great day. Well IQs must have dropped drastically over this last weekend. Apparently ignoring the posted signs, a 4 year old child was helped over the fence by his parent to go look at the bears and was consequently bitten after sticking his hand through the second chain link fence. He was taken to the hospital and the health department was contacted. Because there was a slight chance that the bear might have been infected with rabies, and because the parent couldn’t remember which bear did it, and because they didn’t want to just give the stupid child a rabies shot(!!!!) the authorities KILLED BOTH THE BEARS.

I don’t give a great GODAMN if the rabies shots hurt. Let the idiot parent that hoisted the kid over the fence deal with a crying child for a while. Those bears meant a lot to the people of this community and my family in particular. There is no reason they needed to be put down. I’m especially frustrated with the city officials that decided it was better to kill both the bears than give the kid a lousy shot in the arm. Everyone should contact the Times Dispatch or any of the other 3 news sites I linked to above, and let them know how pissed off you are about this!

The Wawa Saga

2006-02-23T12:37:00.000-05:00

First off, you know somebody needs to get a job when they’re at Wawa at 12 noon buying two 40s and a 12-pack. No food, just 40s.

I'm not talking about me damnit.

Secondly, I don’t think basic common sense is a requirement of being employed by Wawa. Case in point, how many people think it’s a good idea to make a toasted sandwich by first building the entire sandwich and THEN toasting it. Toasted lettuce… mmmmmmmm! Fuckers.

Power On

2006-02-23T08:55:00.000-05:00

Haven’t I been preaching a return to nuclear power for a while now?? Well it looks like we’ll be ordering up some new nuclear plants as early as next year. Hooray for clean and efficient energy production! Woot!

Power Button

2006-02-22T23:31:00.000-05:00

I just read all 252 episodes of Applegeeks after discovering it today at work. It's is a surprisingly high quality comic. The artwork is some of the best I've seen online and the story gets to be really engaging. Shit's right up there with comics you'd find in print. Like Batman and stuff.

OMFG

2006-02-15T21:50:00.000-05:00

For the fifth time in 2 and a half years, we have been approached by someone trying to get us into a pyramid scheme. This has never happened anywhere else I have ever been. I think it's very telling of Richmond that it is filled with complete, brain-dead idiots. Seriously, how can so many people be falling for this obvious scam?? I'll revise this post tomorrow perhaps and fill you in on the entertaining details.

Bovine Copulation

2006-02-15T15:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have watched Clerks, and I know you are many, you may recall a line by Jay that told of the wisdom dispensed by his incontinent grandmother. "Why buy the cow when you get the sex for free?"

Being generally disinterested in bestiality, I am more often exposed to the phrase in this manner. "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?" This is the one liner more commonly peddled about by concerned parents and the religious-right at large. It makes economic sense I suppose. If I'm able to get free internet through my neighbor's unsecured wireless network, I'm sure not going to shell out 50 bucks a month for my own broadband access. However, if I were to purchase my own cable-modem, and found out that said cable-modem was a cold heartless ice-queen in bed, I could cancel my internet access and get DSL. Without the requirement of paying the cable company $1000/month for alimony. Buying a cow is a much larger commitment than buying internet access. That's certainly asking an awfully large leap of faith from someone who just wants a tall glass of milk.

Here's another way to look at it, one that I find to be eminently more practical, and just as economically sound. Perhaps if more people stopped to seriously think about this, there would be fewer divorces and more happy marriages. You can all thank Kelly for coining this little gem. "Why buy the cow, if you haven't tasted the milk?"

Why indeed?

Futureland

2006-02-13T15:07:00.000-05:00

Are you familiar with all those sci-fi movies that show a person poking around at a table-top that is projecting all different kinds of information in a continuously changing environment? I’m thinking of a scene from The Island. Grabbing windows, and scaling images all by sliding a few fingertips across the screen. Picking a window out of a group and then tossing it aside as if it was a real object. Touchscreens have been around for a while, but they’ve always been very imprecise and limited in use. Think that stupid ATM that’s always picking the wrong selection when you’re trying to get some money for lunch. This Dual-Hand Touchscreen is only in the research stage right now, but if they develop it just a little further it will revolutionize how we interact with computers. That’s a hell of a demonstration video. I’ve got mine on pre-order.

What also floats in water?

2006-02-10T10:47:00.000-05:00

I would like to read you an excerpt from The Daily Show presents America (the calendar) 2006.

Campaigns & Elections: The 5 Greatest Moments in Negative Advertising

4. Goody Proctor Is a Witch! (1692)

The Salem Witch Trials of 1692 marked the birth of negative advertising in America. Pamphlets outlining allegations of witch-craft, citing specific details of its practice, gave accusations a gravitas that standing in the town square pointing at passers-by and screaming hysterically “WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” simply couldn’t provide.

Tastes like chicken

2006-02-09T15:57:00.000-05:00

A friend of ours once said that all us white people looked the same to him and he had a hard time telling us apart. He’s a Kenyan in case you wondered. Didn’t matter what country we were from, all white folks looked alike to him. Kinda like most unidentified cooked meats taste like chicken. There’s the title tie-in.

First I would like to point out that I have several friends of Asian descent. Where did they come from? Somewhere in Asia is about as close as my guess will ever get. Now go check out this website. Let’s see if you can do any better.

I scored a 3.

Inversely Amazing

Not easy to get all that wrong

Avast!

2006-02-03T09:35:00.000-05:00

This is a load of crap. Pirates are way cooler than ninjas.

Flying under the radar

2006-02-02T17:06:00.000-05:00

I know my dream car changes daily, but I think today I’m really feeling the used Benz market. There’s no arguing with 349 horsepower and 391 pound-feet of pavement shredding torque in a plain silver sedan. I can dig it.

Quote of the night

2006-01-27T20:28:00.000-05:00

"This is the south. It's fucked up here."

The gift of beer

2006-01-27T19:57:00.000-05:00

The south, Richmond in particular, has some odd traditions. Saying you're going to show up for a party and then just not going, and thinking nothing of ditching everyone, that's kind of annoying. At least when I do that I feel bad about it. I shouldn't worry because it's kinda common practice around here. But I'm actually not ranting about the bad traditions, I'm going to talk about a good tradition. One I'm enjoying right now.

It's customary in Richmond to bring a "host gift" when you attend a party. I did not know that. Last fall we had a wine party and invited a lot of people. The idea, as I'm sure you could have guessed, is that everyone bring a bottle or two of wine and some food, and we all get drunk. Everyone had a good handle on that. But to my surprise, two people brought beer. They brought it for me! And not just any beer, there was a 12ozer of Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA, and a 750 of Delirium Noel. Both rather rare, and extremely potent beers. And all because I opened my apartment for a party.

I'm enjoying the Delirium right now actually. This is without a doubt, a sippin' beer. You do not swill this, it will haul back and cuff you. You are polite to Delirium Noel and you drink it from the proper glassware. Any tulip glass will work, it just happens that I have 3 Delirium Tremens tulip glasses, complete with pink elephants painted on the glass and an elephant etched into the bottom of the bowl. Not to brag or anything.

But it's gonna take me a while to get through this bottle. It's a big beer. So allow me to say thank you to John for the Delirium, and to Ed for the 120

Hola, mi nombre es Indigo Montoya

2006-01-24T18:12:00.000-05:00

Check out my new past time. Classes begin next Monday, woot!

2006-01-16T09:52:00.000-05:00

Hahahahaha, Kirby...

Connect the dots, la-la-la-la

2006-01-16T08:53:00.000-05:00

Please recall this post concerning Pyramid Schemes. Do you sense a reoccurring theme within my blog now? It’s almost as if I have a personal vendetta against these people, a crusade of sorts. Anyway, near the tale end of that post I told the story of a girl that alienated her friends trying to get them into her scam. After my last post I did a little more digging (I asked my wife), and come to find out the scam that girl was associated with was in fact the same Quixtar that I posted about last Friday. It’s funny how all the garbage starts to land right in your own back yard.

Pyramid schemes exposed!

2006-01-13T15:42:00.000-05:00

You may or may not have heard of about a little company called Quixtar. I’m sure you’re familiar with Amway, same people. Well Dateline did a nice bit of investigative journalism exposing Quixtar for what it really is. Three people died to get us this information. I think you owe it to their memories to read this story.

HADOKEN!

2006-01-12T16:37:00.000-05:00

If you haven't been reading 8-bit Theater, you really should. Unless you're one of those rare people that never played a Nintendo or didn't enjoy it when you did. (what's wrong with you?)

I gots me a Palm

2005-12-28T17:33:00.000-05:00

I have achieved wireless connectivity at last. Amongst other glorious and flashy gifts, Kelly got me a Palm TX for Christmas. The only downside is that my office network security is more robust than that encircling the US gold reserve at Fort Knox. Consequently I am unable to access anything wirelessly while I'm at work. And of course, I'm not allowed to set up a VPN to link to my company's email server when I'm out of the office. (That would be a breach of security.) Pretty much negates the use of my Palm for work email completely. Oh well, I can still use my personal email wherever I can find an open wireless network. Now for the big question, does one amongst you know of a free instant messenger client? For some reason AOL thinks that just because you want to be mobile, you should start paying $20 for something that has always been free. (I fucking hate AOL.) Everything I've found that claims to be free is in reality cripple-ware, lasting only a month before picking up its ball and going home. So give me a heads up people, I'm gonna need IM while I'm cooling my heels in Starbucks.

Pyramid Schemes / Cults

2005-12-22T10:36:00.000-05:00

Allow me to first disseminate some excellent information that may well change your life.

Now that you are all equipped to tell the horrible truth from the fantasy-land fiction, let me tell you that there are a lot of people in this world that just aren't as intelligent as you or I. When Kelly and I first moved to Richmond we weren't working so we spent a lot of time out on the town getting to know the area. Waiting for a table at the OG, we were approached by a young couple who were also waiting to be seated. They were friendly so we chatted for a while. The gentleman asked if we'd like to join them and some business partners for a happy hour in a couple nights. Not having anything better to do, we said sure. The next day I called to confirm the plans and was told that it would be a little more than just a happy hour and I should check out his business' website. This is where any reasonably intelligent person becomes suspicious. Upon investigating the alleged "business website" it was plainly obvious that this so called "eCommerce" was nothing more than an internet based pyramid scam. I called the gentleman back and told him we weren't interested, then bid him good day. A shame too, they seemed like such a nice couple.

Two months later, after securing the fine job I now enjoy, I was perusing some publications at Barnes & Noble. I was approached by a fella who wanted to talk books with me. Eventually he asked me what I do for work. Rather odd, but I was reasonably sure he wasn't hitting on me so I told him I am an engineer. He used to be in engineering too he said, but now he runs his own business. Cool, I reply, what's your business? His business was eCommerce. I told him my firm is hiring if he ever wants to get back into engineering. Then I bid him good day.

A year or so goes by with nary a whisper of entrepreneurial scam artistry. We are visiting friends who are having a small get-together. Another couple who are attending the event are chatting with us about this and that, and its all very pleasant. At some point the female informs us that things are really going well for her lately. She's started a home business where she gets paid just for shopping online. Apparently this turn of events has changed her life. Her boyfriend elaborated and explained how he had been unhappy at college and quit to enter into this business with his girl. And it changed his life. They went on at length explaining how it all worked, how easy it all was, and how they had just come back from a seminar with "the multi-millionaires" that had started this business. They had all been told that soon they would be "multi-millionaires" too. They even took a stab at getting my wife and I to leave our lucrative jobs and come drink the magic cool-aid with them so we'd be ready when the aliens, I mean "multi-millionaires", arrive.

Admittedly I don't examine myself in the mirror that often, but when you look at me do I appear to be both destitute and fucking retarded? Where do these people come from and why to they think I want to throw my life away to go charging along with them into a life of bankruptcy and denied credit card applications? I spent a few brief moments contemplating the series of poor decisions that must have occurred in each of these people's lives that brought them to this point. The homeless man begging for change on the street corner still has some dignity. He has no place to sleep and depends on the money of others to feed himself. But at least he's not trying to drag the rest of us down with him.

Scammers are under the assumption that each and every one of us is as stupid as they are. Prove them wrong. If you think you know of a pyramid scam, and especially if someone has tried to recruit you into one, gather as much information as you can and notify the Federal Trade Commission here. Happy hunting.

Cheaping Out

2005-12-14T22:16:00.000-05:00

I was a little excited over the fact that the free 6 year old windows box I picked up is actually a little newer and more powerful than my 7 year old Blue & White G3. I can play my downloaded copy of FFVII: Advent Children without dropping any frames. But come on, I can't even play Halo Zero on it. I'm back to feeling deprived again. My computers may be old and obsolete, but at least I'm not still carting around a couple of circa 1989 dinosaurs. They were kinda cool though.

NSFW

2005-12-07T20:48:00.000-05:00

This site is offensive as all hell. But damn if a lot of it isn't funny!

Zombie-Preparedness

2005-12-07T16:36:00.000-05:00

I’ve got my “go-bag” ready. Do you?

Small Block Solstice

2005-12-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone took the step that GM should have been planning all along. It’s not even that big of a leap really. This article explains why pretty well.

Would it be that hard for me to scrape together 20 grand? Hell my WRX cost that much and it sure doesn’t have 400hp and a drop top! I think I’ll wait for them to offer the Saturn Sky conversion. The Solstice is attractive and all, but the Sky is shit-hot.

White December

2005-12-06T19:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday marked the first snowfall of the year in Richmond. I may have remarked on this phenomenon before. I know others have covered it to death, oh well. Here's one more lighter raised at a Scorpions concert.

Southerners don't know what snow is. They really have no clue. They live in a perpetual tropical state that has only an occasional brush with the freezing point of water. Don't get me wrong. They know bad weather. Richmond practically floated down the river and out to sea last year. Then there was that hurricane that hit the year before. And the southerners handled themselves admirably in those situations. But I think when the temperature drops and somebody whispers the word "snow," they just lose it. I think the best way of explaining this phenomenon I've ever seen can be found here. A comic for every occasion is what I say.

It's true though. The road doesn't even have to have any snow on it. If the weather guy, that damn short sighted weather guy, even mentions snow the local counties all cancel schools as a kind of pre-emptive wuss-out. Then it starts to rain. No snow yet, it's still 40 degrees out. But there's precipitation falling out of the sky. Suddenly everyone is going 10mph under the speed limit. If it was raining during a goddamn hurricane they would still be doing 80. But since there might be some snow at 3am that morning, everyone is going 45 on the highway.

In BOTH lanes.

I have to live with this kind of idiocy, but I don't have to like it. After the storm was over, I awoke this morning to find Mayland Drive slushy and mostly frozen. Far from being intimidated by this and driving like a 93 year old man, I gassed it in first, hung the back end out sideways, gave it a little opposite lock, and took off down the deserted 4 lane highway that makes up my street in a glorious 4 wheel drift. Now that's driving according to the conditions bi-atch.

Chinese Eats

2005-11-26T19:21:00.000-05:00

There's so much good food around this town. It really amazes me sometimes. It's taken us a while but after some searching on the internet we found this article here. I didn't think I'd be finding a better recommendation any time soon so we went to check it out. The crab rangoons, lemon chicken and kung pao chicken all get 5 out of 5. I can't wait to go back to Full Kee and try something else! Absolute best chinese food I've ever had.

Holiday Traveling

2005-11-23T11:04:00.000-05:00

Brilliant!! I haven’t seen comedic timing this good since Rodney Dangerfield died!

Green-Eyed Monster

2005-11-21T16:39:00.000-05:00

My envy of Danimal grows with every passing day. His unbounded wealth haunts my dreams and pushes me to the brink of animal rage. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s possessions? I think I shall. I must have IT!

Snack Food Revisited

2005-11-12T19:16:00.000-05:00

Recall this post. I sent Kelly to the store for hamburger buns, and she finds Pocky. I've never even seen Pocky before except for that odd little quiz. My wife seems to have a radar for finding cute things to do. She just turns around and bam, finds the exact flavor (how many are there?) that supposedly coincides with my personality! Honestly they were pretty tasty and, deservedly so, didn't last long. Though the store only had chocolate and strawberry to choose from, I'm rather curious what Milk Pocky will taste like. Now that I know its safe to eat of course.

Birthdays

2005-11-12T11:15:00.000-05:00

Danimal included one of these in his blog and I found what it said to be interesting. Not just because it's flattering, (how many horoscopes tell you you suck after all?) but because I'm currently in a position at work where there is the possibility of rapid growth and increased responsibility. The horoscope may be overly optimistic but I think it ties in interestingly with my present situation.

Your Birthdate: January 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.
You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.
Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.
You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sunny Weekends

2005-11-12T10:44:00.000-05:00

Well things are looking up a bit. The weekend is here, it's hella sunny out and the temperature is suitable for a light jacket. Just how I like it. I went out for a night on the town last night. Didn't drink much, but I enjoyed a cigar and hit up no less than 4 hot spots. Plus I saw the Governor out at the Martini bar. I didn't think it was him, but Brendan shook his hand and proved me wrong.

I found someone who can restore the gas tank on my motorcycle for $130. It'll be painted primer and probably still have a visible dent or two, but as long is it's not going to explode or rust out again, that's money well spent. As far as work is concerned, I'm coping with the extra responsibility alright. The meeting up near DC went well on Friday. I've got two more to attend up there next week, we'll see how that goes. I'm actually going to be overnight right in the capital on Wednesday, so I think I'll have to call around and see if anyone is in the city and wants to go grab a beer.

Downward Spiral

2005-11-09T21:06:00.000-05:00

So here's where I rant about the streak of bad luck that's been hitting all of a sudden. Tuesday morning I found out that my boss has been mobilized by the Army and worst case scenario is going to be that he leaves this Sunday. Everybody's freaked out, myself included. I mean it's not like he's easily replaceable. There isn't another person in our group that has the ability to step in and just take his place. He has too many balls in the air at any one time to just pass them along to someone else. All the project handoffs are going to be quick and messy. Something's going to fall through the cracks and I'm not looking forward to that. It's a logistical nightmare. I'm not even going to get into the fact that from now on I'm going to have extremely limited guidance on some very challenging projects that are coming up. Believe me, I'm stressed right now. I hate making mistakes and I'm a bit concerned that I'll wind up making more of them.

This isn't even touching on the fact that I consider him a good friend. He's been a fantastic manager and I can't help but feel whatever arrangement we're able to come up with to fill the gap until he returns from active service, is going to be sorely lacking. He's got a lot on his mind right now and I don't blame him if work isn't in the fore-front. He's got a young family and Sunday, when he's supposed to be leaving, is his daughter's birthday. That really sucks. The poor guy is scrambling right now and I feel pretty bad about that.

So we were dealing with that all yesterday. This morning I figured I'd get to work early and see what I could do to help. So I leave for work about 15 minutes before usual, pull out of the apartment complex and start booking it up the hill to the intersection. This morning, unlike most mornings, there was a cop car hidden at the top of the hill. And he clocked me going 49 in a 35. I blame VDOT because they build every road in the city as if it needs to be a 4 lane divided highway. I live on that road, it could have been a goddamn donkey-cart path and still done it's job effectively. How is someone not going to drive fast on that road when the only one like it back home was called I-95? Speed limits are all politics, I drive according to the conditions. And the conditions of that road were suitable for Indianapolis.

Back to the story. I got pulled over, and I was polite about it because I knew I had been speeding so I deserved to be given a ticket. The police officer was polite to me in turn. We bid each other good-day and went our separate ways. There were better things I could spend $150 on, but speeding tickets are just a tax for driving the way you want to. I've accepted that and I moved on. I didn't get too far.

Almost to work, I was riding along with the flow of traffic following a silver Ford Fivehundred, license plate number "JVW 3397", when a hard object (read: rock) struck my windshield and pounded a 10 inch crack into it. I swore.

Now many of you know, I'm a pretty quiet guy. I don't get worked up over much but when I saw that my windshield was toast I went off. I cursed, I shouted, I made obscene gestures to all around. Some poor old lady in her giant maroon Buick just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time as I unleashed both barrels of my fully extended digits. I feel a little bad about traumatizing someone's grandmother, but casualties happen.

These situations on their own I could deal with. But to have my entire work environment stood on it's head one day, and then have a $400 drive to work the next, that's just God telling me he doesn't like me. I can take the hint.

Distortion Field of Suck

2005-11-09T18:06:00.000-05:00

Crappiest two days EVER. I shall elaborate soon, right now I have too much shit to do.

Gamers Are People Too

2005-10-31T10:05:00.000-05:00

Well written article indeed. Finally, a little accurate information is being dispensed by the media.

Party Like a Rockstar

2005-10-28T13:09:00.000-05:00

T-3 hours till the party starts, and it's not stopping until Sunday morning! This evening shall begin with a pre-party at Christine's place. At 9pm a cab (completely necessary) will be transporting us to a Heaven/Hell party down in the fan. There is a parking lot between the two apartments that has been dubbed "Purgatory". I guess that's where the poor lost souls languish after being kicked off the dance floor in both Heaven AND Hell. I told you not to try any flashy moves. But hey, nobody said you can't hang out on the curb with a 40 in a brown paper-bag drinking with a plastic straw through a hole cut in the mouth of your Scream mask.

Upon crawling out of bed on Saturday I shall nurse my hangover with some Gatorade and, in the spirit of Halloween, Resident Evil 4. I also snagged a copy of 28 Days Later, in case I'm unable to lift a controller.

Later on that evening we'll be heading for another costume party at a coworker's house. Conversing through a mask with some folks we don't get to hang out with too often. If we get out of there sometime before the ass-crack of dawn, we have yet another costume party to head to! So much for doing anything constructive this weekend. I just hope my Grim Reaper outfit survives long enough for me to scare some little kids at the company Halloween party monday. My record last year was causing 5 children to cry, and 2 to wet themselves.

Personal Responsibility

2005-10-20T12:32:00.000-05:00

Did anyone else cheer when they read this? It’s already been passed by the house. If the senate drops the ball on it again I’m going to be sorely disappointed. I think it sets an excellent precedent on holding people accountable for something that is their responsibility.

In news related to people being held accountable for their own actions… Hells YEAH!!! We are the many, don’t fuck with us.

Local Government

2005-10-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

When dealing with local government contacts for work, statements such as, “Let me go get him off the tractor” and, “I think we done paved over that cleanout” do not fill me with that warm fuzzy feeling. People like Colleen really do make my job more difficult than it needs to be.

Mayonnaise

2005-10-05T13:31:00.000-05:00

Why? Dear God why?? Why does every grocery store deli market, and every sandwich shop in America think they need to apply this foul condiment onto each sandwich that they make. It's not even a question any more. They feel like it is such a vital part to a sandwich that it doesn't even need to be listed among the ingredients. When you read the wrapper on a turkey and cheese sandwich it says, "turkey, cheese, lettuce." It's assumed that you know because this is a sandwich you are about to purchase, it contains mayonnaise by default. Who made up that stupid rule? Do they not make mustard packets? And ketchup packets? And relish, and pepper, and salt, and any number of other separate packages containing ways to douse your food in some flavor not even remotely related to the actual food that you are supposedly so excited to experience? Why then, don't they just have a packet of mayonnaise? As you walk out of the store with your newly acquired sandwich, you pass the condiment table and you pick up your packet of mayonnaise. It's not like someone is going to walk into the store about to buy a double-decker club and then realize, "wait, this place doesn't have mayonnaise pre-slathered onto the sandwiches! I have to reach down to the table next to the cash register to pick up a mayo packet and then apply it myself? What horse-shit is that??"

It's not a deal-breaker is all I'm trying to say here. However I don't know how many times I've looked at a deli-counter and said to myself, "Shit, I'm really hungry and I wouldn't mind paying 8 bucks for that chicken club. But they already put mayonnaise all over it. I guess I have to go somewhere else." I'm getting sick-and-fucking-tired of having to order the goddamn chicken fingers because everything else has been drenched in creamy lard!

So here's my suggestion to the sandwich manufacturers. Just make the damn things plain. Apply the meat and veggies to the bread. People are (supposedly) advanced creatures, they have opposable thumbs and free will. I think they'll put mayo on their sandwich themselves if it's that fucking crucial.

Pocky?

2005-09-29T13:34:00.000-05:00

According to Jerome, Pocky is a snack preferred by geeks. I do consider myself a geek but I've never heard of the stuff before. The quiz says I'm optimistic, we all knew that. Yeah, it's pink. You know that hole, the one you put pie in? Shut it.

what flavor pocky are you?

[c] sugardew

Fall is Here

2005-09-28T15:09:00.000-05:00

At least that’s what they tell me. Somehow I’m still of the mindset where 87° weather constitutes summer. I ate lunch outside by the lake where yellow-jackets harassed me for my iced-tea. That’s right, screw “sweet-tea”. In every normal part of the country, iced-tea is by definition already sweet. There’s no reason to go making a cultural thing out of it.

So I ate lunch under the shade of a tree, next to the lake. After I consumed my sandwich, I played a little Zelda on my new Gameboy Micro. That was really a good way to spend my break. It got me outdoors away from the computer, and I was actually doing something I liked with my free time instead of staring blankly at CNN for 45 minutes. I was on the fence all summer about the whole portable gaming thing. I once owned a Sega Game Gear, but that was a POS. As I started spending more time stuck at airports I came to the realization it was time to take another stab at a portable game system. PSP and DS just weren’t what I was looking for. The PSP was too large and expensive, plus I’ve already played most of those games on my PS2. The DS just wasn’t what I was looking for and the available games were very limited. Then I heard about the Micro. Smaller than my cell phone and it plays any of the huge selection of GBA games, many of which can be had used for dirt cheap. Plus it was only $100! I wish I could have bought it sooner! I’m not looking for graphical hi-fidelity, that’s what I have home consoles for. All I’m looking for is something extremely portable to toss in my pocket with quality on a par with my old Super Nintendo. It fits the bill for an old-school gaming experience on the go.

Creepy Chips

2005-09-19T14:23:00.000-05:00

I generally avoid purchasing, or even consuming when free, Utz ® brand chips. Maybe it’s that the brand name doesn’t remotely resemble anything edible. Or it could just be that the little girl mascot they have contrived freaks me the hell out. Her rosy cheeks would look garish even on a clown. Her head is a perfect circle, with the face painted on to the front as if it were a round wooden ball pretending to be a head. But for some reason they took the time to draw the body as a real cartoon should be drawn. With an arm correctly proportional to the body reaching into a paper bag that I’m only assuming contains potato chips. The head though, that demonic head is just so out of place that my eyes want to slide past it pretending it doesn’t exist. To prove I wasn’t just being irrational I purchased a bag of their Bar-B-Que flavored Corn Chips today. It’s not as brave an act as it sounds. The crazy mascot only appears in the small logo on the back of the bag. The quality is of a slightly lower grade than similar offerings from Frito-Lay ®, but it serves the purpose of pumping fat and salt directly into my arteries. I faced my fear, looked the devil square in the eye, and stared him down.

Of Hops and Bears

2005-09-16T15:28:00.000-05:00

I'm reviewing this a little after the fact. Maybe a week after the fact, I'm not really sure. I've been working so much lately I haven't been able to get close to updating my blog. And when I haven't been working I've been tearing down that damn motorcycle. I won't get into that now. This entry is about beer! Bear Republic's Racer 5 India Pale Ale. It's very highly carbonated! I poured this beer into a large mug, well over 22oz, that I borrowed from a friend. I made the mistake of trying to agitate the pour to induce more head. It would have had plenty on it's own. The head was thick and creamy and it just wouldn't quit! That foamy head stuck around forever. Similar to the head, it had a very creamy mouthfeel to it. Not nearly as hoppy as I had been lead to believe, very smooth. It was a very balanced beer with a 7% abv. A little more tame than similar offerings but I enjoyed it none the less.

Another Imperial Stout

2005-09-09T19:44:00.000-05:00

Remember those "better imperial stouts" I mentioned in my first review? This is one of them. I'm drinking Lagunitas Imperial Stout, brewed and bottled by the Lagunitas Brewing Company in Petaluma, California. It looks a bit on the light side for a stout. When held up to a light it's quite reddish in hue on the edges. Very easy to drink. Has a smokey roasted flavor to it. Maybe a little bit of caramel malt. I much prefer it to the sour flavor in my previous review. The 8.2% alcohol will get you just as buzzed. This is a very refreshing beer as well. I could even see drinking it on a hot summer afternoon. Quite good I must say.

Motorola tries for a hole in one, but hooks it into the weeds.

2005-09-09T08:45:00.000-05:00

It looks like I'm not going to be getting a new cellphone after all. What a huge dissapointment. The phone it's based off is a year old model, the bluetooth is crippled, the camera is low quality, it only supports 100 songs, it's not even a 3G phone, and godamnit the thing looks like butt. They expect people to pay $250 with a 2 year contract for that thing? No wonder Steve Jobs gave it such a lack-luster endorsement. Apple's saving grace on this is that they seem to have done everything they could NOT to associate themselves with this lemon. The only involvement they had was getting iTunes to run on the damned thing. I'm holding off until Apple designs a phone themselves. One that doesn't look like it's 5 years old.

Going Fast, Slowly

2005-09-07T19:59:00.000-05:00

Story #1

I've got a lot of work ahead of me.

I recently purchased a motorcycle for the princely sum of zero dollars and zero cents. Why so cheap you ask? Let's start with what it is, a 1985 Suzuki GS550E. True it's old, but it's only got 19,000 miles on it. Surely that's worth some bit of monetary exchange? Allow me to retort. Not only is it old, but it hasn't been run in 5 years. Now we're getting somewhere. It's been sitting under a deck outside for one quarter of it's life. The rubber parts are so weathered that the hand grips have turned to a black powder that coats your hands if you try and grab them. The paint, though vibrant and colorful from being under the deck and out of the sun has started to bubble from the random formation of rust on the tank. God knows how the rust formed, there was nothing wrong with the paint in those areas. The tires are cracked and air pressure is almost nil. They are in no way safe to use on the street. The turn signals are filled with water and practically falling off. One actually is falling off, held on only by a piece of wire. The brakes look alright, but I have a feeling that they aren't functioning at the moment. I have no idea if it will even run. I need to change every drop of fluid, battery and spark plug in the thing and probably rebuild the carburetor before I even try to start it up.

So why bother messing with this even if it was free? As Jim so eloquently put in the comments section, I need something to do and rally racing is friggin expensive. Maybe this will give you incentive to finally fix up your dad's bike and you can come ride with me Jim. Another big selling point for picking up this heap, 55 miles to the gallon. That's right, this gigantic moped is going to deliver me from the evil of high gas prices! So what if it costs me $600 in parts just to get it street able. I'll make that back in a
year. And common, motorcycles are a hoot.

Story #2

On a different subject, I have a new nickname. Let me start with the tale behind it. My boss and I left for a meeting up near DC last Thursday. I get the key's to one of the company cars, go find it out in the lot, then swing by the entrance to the building to pick up my passenger. All's well, we drive a couple hours, and stop for lunch about 2 minutes away from the meeting. We eat, then go back to the car. I slide behind the wheel, put the key in the ignition, and it won't turn. I try jiggling it. Nothing. I try forcing it. Still won't turn. My boss calls me a wuss and I let him try.

No dice, he can't get it to work either. He had heard about something that happens sometimes with Fords if you park it with the wheels turned too much. The steering wheel was locked out, it wouldn't turn. Even with the engine off it still should have been able to turn. We tried to get something out of the trunk, but the key wouldn't work in the trunk, it wouldn't manually unlock the doors. It was like we had the wrong key! Except for the fact that I had just driven 2 hours up the highway so I knew it had to work. The car stayed there overnight and we were 2 hours late for the meeting after we found a rental car.

They company car had been at a dealership getting diagnosed until today. It was the wrong key. I had taken the wrong vehicle and in order to get it to work again, the dealer up in DC had to completely re-key the whole car. I can't explain why the car started that day and allowed me to get as far as I did, neither can anyone else. They've started calling me Hot-Wire.

Been a Few Days

2005-09-05T09:12:00.000-05:00

At least this time it wasn't because I've been working too much. It's mostly because I've just been kinda lazy about turning on a computer. Labor Day Weekend has been going quite well. We went out to the bars Friday. Recovered and cleaned up around the apartment Saturday. Went for an extended bike trip around Pocahontas State Park on Sunday, then rented a couple movies. And today I'm just kinda hanging out while Kelly goes to Starbucks and studies insurance. I may go to the pool this afternoon. In all, a very successful long weekend.

Last night was also a very successful night of Halo action. It's amazing how much easier it is when you have a good team with similar skill levels and the ability to communicate effectively. Of 8 games played with that team we lost once. It would have been great to keep playing but it was 2am. We ended on a high note. So what to do today? There's the upcoming walk down to the pool, and some laundry. But come on, there has to be something better than that to do in this town. Oh wait, it's Richmond. No there isn't.

Sharing Interests

2005-08-30T12:02:00.000-05:00

Last night Kelly bought herself a mountain bike. The last bicycle Kelly had was a Huffy. It is possible she was ten at that time. Having never really bought something like this before, Kelly didn't know what she was looking for. She was a little out of her element. I went through this whole process last year so we made a plan and went out together. We hit a couple different bike stores and she rode a few different models around the parking lots. We also learned that just because a bike is more expensive and has pricier components, doesn't mean that you're going to be comfortable on it. It's better to have a bike that's strong and you feel confident riding. We settled on a Specialized. It's the same frame as mine and I know it can take a lot of abuse. Just as important is that Kelly really liked the feel of it. She will be able to attack harder trails on this bike than she would be able to handle with one that she's not as comfortable on. The big differences between her's and mine is that Kelly's bike has 24 speeds, mine has one. But Specialized took that extra money saved by not having gears, derailers, etc and put it into fancy components like disk brakes, stronger wheels, better shocks, and so on. Downside for me is that I have to walk up the big hills while Kelly can stay on her bike.

We'll be going out somewhere this weekend for a ride. Nothing too challenging at first, just some easy dirt or gravel tracks, maybe a jogging trail. Kelly and I have always had very different interests. This always serves to keep things interesting because one of us will usually come up with an idea that the other hadn't thought of. But it also makes it tough for us to find an activity (other than wine tastings) that we both want to do. But going on bike rides is something everyone likes so I'm pretty excited that we can start enjoying that together.

A little off topic here, it's almost time I bought a new phone. My Nokia POS just isn't cutting the mustard anymore.

Just Another Crappy Monday

2005-08-29T15:08:00.000-05:00

The theme of the day is, “at least I’m not in New Orleans.”

Beer Stuff

2005-08-26T12:43:00.000-05:00

I'm really doing this just to appease Davis. I like beer. Real beer. Not the watery rejects from prohibition that survived by disguising themselves as horse urine before making a comeback by appealing to the lowest common denominator. I mean the stuff that good red blooded Americans began brewing based on recipies handed down after generations of uninterupted brewing in the old countries. That's real beer.

Consequently I am going to review the beer I'm drinking right now. Just because I like beer doesn't mean I know what I'm talking about when I review it. That's why I'm not posting here or here. Those guys actually know what they're talking about. So on to the review!

I'm drinking a 22oz bottle of Pikop Andropov's Rushin' Imperial Stout, brewed by Hale's Ales in Seattle Washington. I want to start by saying this beer is BLACK. It looks like the used motor oil that just leaked all over the inside of my trunk. Other stouts seem to lighten up a little bit at the edges but this one is thick and black. No I'm not going to make that joke no matter how easy it is. At first I wasn't a big fan of the flavor. It tastes way too sour. Honestly I considering not finishing the bottle. But it's starting to grow on me. Maybe it's the easy drinkability. When I said thick I meant the color, it's really got a rather watery mouthfeel compared to some stouts. But it does go down easy without making me feel like I just ate dinner. Or it might be the 8% abv. Either way, I am going to finish it up. This beer wasn't a waste and it is rather unique. There are better imperial stouts out there however, so I don't think I'll be picking this one up again.

Good Times Live in New York

2005-08-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

This time I made the most of the weekend. No more falling asleep in a recliner. This time I fell asleep at a bar. And then again on a subway. At which point I woke up on a different subway facing the opposite direction and thought the train had turned around and was headed back to the city! I’ll have to write all about it when I get the chance. That won’t be soon though.

Things got really busy around here all of a sudden. Well not really all of a sudden, it’s been like this for a couple weeks now. I like working 15 hour days as much as the next guy, but it doesn’t really leave much time to update the ol’ blog now does it? I’d say postings are going to be rather intermittent until about mid-September. Then, provided we get the job, I should be set for the year. I’m ready to slack like I’ve never slacked before!

One last thought, Final should record a cover of Paint it Black. Don’t give me any lip Jim, you owe me for not coming to New York!

Comments?

2005-08-17T12:11:00.000-05:00

So far the only comments I've recieved have been by spammers (if I don't know you, don't plug your site on my blog) and my good friends at Final. Since I know most of the people checking out this blog aren't registered at Blogspot, I've made the comments open to everyone now. Feel free to leave me some feedback!

To Commemorate The Event

2005-08-17T09:52:00.000-05:00

Hilarity

Henrico County iBook Sale!

2005-08-16T08:39:00.000-05:00

I was there. I saw the beginnings of a riot. I picked up my camp chair and went home.

If you are unfamiliar with these goings on you can find out what the fuss is about here for the time being. I’ll post a link to the inevitable news coverage later. Let me recount to you the events of this morning. Kelly, Brendan and I had a plan. The Henrico Schools website indicated that the gates would open at 7am, the sale would start at 9am, and no camping would be allowed. We piled into Brendan’s truck around 5:15am with one chair each, ready to sit in line for three and a half hours. We thought that would give us a pretty good shot.

Arriving at the raceway complex, we saw a goodly sized line already formed in front of the gates, maybe 200 to 300 people and 20 cars. We were expecting that though, no big deal. We go park the truck and walk over to take our place in line. Walking past the gate we saw 3 police officers keeping order. Take note of that number now. Upon arriving where we thought the end of the line was, we found that it really just went around a corner and down the street. It’s still dark, we can’t see a lot, so we start walking. The end of the line isn’t within view. So we’re walking, walking, walking. The news reporters were saying there were hundreds and hundred of people in line. Liars. There had to be 4 to 5 THOUSAND people there at 5:30am. There were only one thousand iBooks for sale. Still unable to see the end of the line we turned around and went home.

The morning news was on when I got there so the little lady and I cozied up to see what we were missing. The talking heads were sensationalizing the whole thing. “Hundreds and hundreds of people.” Sure, way to give the stragglers hope. There seemed to be some tension building. More and more people had been showing up, people that had followed the rules set down on the website. Upon finding that those who couldn’t follow directions were going to buy all the $50 laptops first, these goody-two-shoes were becoming irate and formed a second line. Threats were made. Those three police officers called for backup.

At 7am the gates were flung open as promised. Line? What line? It was a stampede. You were waiting there since 1:30 in the morning you say? Tough shit, you just found yourself face down on the pavement being trampled. You brought your kid along to stand in line all morning? Firstly, what’s wrong with you? Second, that kid can’t run as fast as you. Better ditch him and hope he makes it out alright. It’s every person for themselves! There’s cheap laptops up for grabs!

I felt sorry for them in a way. Why would so many people throw away their humanity for cheap electronics? The news crew interviewed a woman who had been trampled by several people and was sobbing to the reporter. That's kinda sad. Then I noticed her tee shirt. I have little pity for a person that cries while their shirt screams, “LIQUOR” in large block letters.

Here’s that news link I promised. I hope to god I can find a video of that woman in the tee shirt. That was classic.

Edit: Here's the updated video with the interview with the trampled woman. Click on the "see video" link under the picture of the computer. Check out those threads!

Edit 2: The incident made CNN!